Domestic violence facts

Domestic violence statistics
•A woman is beaten every 10 to 12 seconds
•More than one woman is raped every minute of every day
•Three to four women are murdered each day by their intimate partner
Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. Whoever you are, In 1994, 1995, and again in 2000, Michigan changed the laws that deal with domestic violence to make it easier for the victims of abuse to get protection through the legal system.
Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or harm. Physical violence includes, but is not limited to, scratching; pushing; shoving; throwing; grabbing; biting; choking; shaking; slapping; punching; burning; use of a weapon; and use of restraints or one's body, size, or strength against another person.
Sexual violence is divided into three categories: 1) use of physical force to compel a person to engage in a sexual act against his or her will, whether or not the act is completed; 2) attempted or completed sex act involving a person who is unable to understand the nature or condition of the act, to decline participation, or to communicate unwillingness to engage in the sexual act, e.g., because of illness, disability, or the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or because of intimidation or pressure; and 3) abusive
Threats of physical or sexual violence use words, gestures, or weapons to communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical harm.
Psychological/emotional violence involves trauma to the victim caused by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics. Psychological/emotional abuse can include, but is not limited to, humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other basic resources. It is considered psychological/emotional violence when there has been prior physical or sexual violence or prior threat of physical or sexual violence. In addition, stalking is often included among the types of IPV. Stalking generally refers to "harassing or threatening behavior that an individual engages in repeatedly, such as following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing phone calls, leaving written messages or objects, or vandalizing a person's property" (Tjad

Children may become injured during violent incidents between their parents. A large overlap exists between intimate partner violence and child maltreatment (Appel and Holden 1998).

en & Thoennes 1998).

no longer a victim(domestic Violence)

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and
Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
 lasting scars.
I was a victim of domestic violence I wasn't beat up or bruised but I was pushed against counters and thrown against walls I was called many horrible names, told was a rotten person I was, and alot of other names I am too embarrassed to type. I had my life threatened twice. I was never allowed to have a opinion unless it was his opinion, and if I was gone 15 minutes longer than I expected I heard about it for hours.  I was married to my abuser for a little over 6 years, we had been together 10 years. I kept kicking him out of my home, but...I always let him come back he promised not to drink, promised not to argue and call me bad names. He was good for awhile then it started all over again. I kept believing him when he said he wouldn't do it amymore, but they were just empty promises. I divorced him 2007, but let him come back into my home even after that, because starngely I loved him and I thought he loved me too. My grand daughter has always lived with us and now as I think back how rotten I was to let her hear all the bad names he called me. That was bad of me, but then I didn't think of that as I do now.
Finally in Late september 2011 I had enough, he had been calling me names, drinking, I had been finding money missing.(wondered how he kept buying alcohol) we had argued that day, at midnight i went to bed, he had been staying in my garage becase he refused to leave my house (we had a fouton, tv coffee table, his computer, cable, internet and a frige out there he wasnt deprived) i shut the internet off just for a little payback, he got so mad that he started pounding on the back door to my house screaming he was kick the door down and if he couldn't he would break the window out of  the door.(I was scared)  he finally got inside the house without breaking anything, how? I still have no idea,  he took my laptop out to the garage and said if he wasn't getting internet neither was I. I was jsut grateful that he immediately went back out to the garage becase I had a 4 year old to protect.
I left early the next morning took my grand daughter to daycare and realized I needed to get out I called a apt complex I lived in before I could have a apt but it  wouldnt be ready for 3 days, I stayed those three nights at my mothers house, got my apt went back and packed my stuff, he was still there refused to leav. e I had called the people I rented the house from to tell them of the violence they let me out of my lease. he stayed for a week taking advantage.
We are still seperated and we are going to stay that way. I hope another woman doesn't fall for his cuteness and nice talk because it will be good for a couple months then change will change drastically.
thanks for reading!

Just gramma.....continues....

I made a reservation today for Frankenmuth, Mi I can only afford to stay one night and 2 days but we should have a good time. My daughter, son, grand daughter, daughter's b/f, and myself are going-we hve tickets to the splash park, dinner, and breakfast. We will be going on the riverboat tour, going to the milatary muesum, and grand daughter will be doing build a bear, the saturday after we are going to the zoo, 3rd weekend in July we are going up north rent a pontoon boat, and going ot the water park. I am trying to do some cool things with my grand daughter she starts kindergarten in September, and has to have surgery on her foot in October. I was hoping surgeries would be done, but the orthopedic surgeon says she needs another one, will be a little easier this time only one foot, all her other surgeries were both feet. She will have a cast up to the waist for 2 weeks then one just below the knee for another 5 weeks. 
It's hard to believe my grand duaghter Makayla is 5 years old now we just celebrated her birthday May 29th.
I still haven't got a home business other than Avon, but I am still working on it. Hopefully with God's guidance one will come along soon.
Taking Makayla to a memorial service thursday her other grandma passed away she does not know she is her grandma has only seen her once in the last 2 years but I think it's appropiate that she go. I hope I am making the right decision.  Time will tell.
well so much more I want to wrote about but it's late, and I have 2 tests scheduled at the hospital in the morning, so I'm going to go to bed.
Thanks all God Bless!

a bored person

I haven't written a blog in awhile been busy and bored at the same time. I am still frustrated I wish I could open a home business. I sell AVON but that isn't going real well I think if I could spend more time on it it coiuld be I only work 25 hours per week, but between working,  full time care of my 5 year old grand daughter(Happy Birthday today Makayla) taking care of a house, I don't have alot of time. The time I do have I don't do very much.nI did manage to get 2 rose bushes 2 geraniums and some perinals planted. I have another half flat of flowers to plant but it has rained everyday for the last 2 weeks it seems.
I have been having some hip trouble so I had a pain block today, didn't take away my pain totally but Iam hoping as the days go it gets better then I may feel like doing more. I want to have a yard sale in June, I want to paint my bedroom and plant more flowers. I actually have a small home that I like.
my granddaughter will be starting school in September Kindergarten, I enrolled her in a charter school. Hopefully that will work out. 
I don't do much in the evenings someitmes, wish I had the friends and the money to go out but I don't maybee someday. Otherwise I sit at home watch tv I love HGTV and criminal minds. I play with my granddaughter, I don't know what I would do without her. She is alot work but I love having her with with me. Tuesday is her U of M appt, Dr. wants to check out her new night time braces.
well Iam going to close for now it is 4am I have a birthday party to prepare for and I still haven't wrapped her gifts. a new pool she will love.
have a great day and thanks for reading!
Brenda

Just gramma.....continues....

This week has not been a very good for me...guess I just have the blahs. The weather is depressing we had one nice day to speak of it was so hot really, then goes right back down to being cold. It's April where is the nice weather? Today and all weekend it is suppose to rain. Today is sat I do not have to work so I am going to make beds, do laundry, clean the bathroom and my car is thristy.
I was just aggrevated this week my job is so that some days I hate getting ready to go it, I hate the idea I have to worry about lack of money. I am worried a little about my son too, he is a szcophrenic 22 years old he doesn't do a whole lot mostly stays in his basement room and does things on his computer and watches tv, He doesn't clean house to laundry or cook except for he microwave, he doesn't drive and from his therapist he can not live on his own. I worry because i am not gonna live forever and I often wonder what will happen to him, where will he go? I need to think long and hard about that and figure that out. That worries on mind alot lately.
Then my grand daughter's father has visited with her twice which hasn't happened for 4 years. Iam a little torn about that too, because after 4 years he decides he wants to be father. She doesn't know it is her father...yet some day I will tell her if he keeps commign around. Guess I am getting soft in my older years I am not sure if I want him comming around or not last I knew he wasn't a very nice guy, But people can change as they mature and I think she deserve for me to give him a chance. So we will see where it leads in the future.
Makayla has been a handful this week, her mother was here for 3 days and soemitmes it is a little much for her. When the third day evening comes she isn't very nice to her mother, hitting her, yelling at her etc. I just dont know what the problem is, I think maybee resentment because her mother isn't here all the time I just don't know that's another mystery for me.
Makyayla did help me mix a homemade pineapple upside cake it turned out very good, today we are going to attempt a banana cake, as I have bananas that need somehthing down with.
I am goign to have a yard sale next month(may) as I have some things around here that are just takign up space and I can use the money, hoping I can advetise on craigs list, facebook, and hanging up flyers will attract people as I hate to post in our local paper they charge way tooo much.
I didn't get the cabinet that I posted abot previousley when I had the money to buy it it was gone I was soooo bummed but hoping I can find another soon.
well Iam going...for now have some thing s to get done will post later
have a great weekend and thanks for reading

life.....as a gramma

I folow one of my fellow bloggers the name of her blog is Manny hats mommy which is a awesome title I have found that I am a many hats grandma--which at my age never thought I would be raising a little one...I am not as old as a typical gramma I don't think most are in their 50's and 60's I am in my 40"s. but I find myself a full time caregiver-I don't like to use mommy because she has a mommy..but mommy type I am her chauffeur, her bather, her friend, her cook, her house cleaner, any anything I need to be. which I really love but with working 30 hours a week, taking and picking her up from daycare, paying bills, grocery shopping I am exhausted. to top it off she doesn't ever go to bed before 10pm most nights at 11pm so I have no ME time, anyone have any ideas about that?? but Iam learning to be a kinder person to have more patience..which I never had before and I am doing more things with her which I regret not doing more with my own children becase I was always so busy working 2 jobs. I need to be more frugal not buy so much, balance what little money I have better-I have a roof over our heads, I never lack food or clothing but I could do better, Iam also learnig there are alot of freebie things to do out there. I never looked before now I find if I spend more time looking for freebies they are things that we really enjoy i april we are going to a popcorn tour and a kids day at the Monroe Mall . so I am in a learning process too like so many other new moms. cept I am a gramma

just sunday 3/6/2011

not much going on this sunday-i made the beds ate breakfast(toaster strudels) watched some cash & cari on the computer, went to craft 2000(local craft store) and got a bulletin board Iam going to decorate and hang up for notes-had to pick up my son from a friend's house, took him to the dollar store then had to go back to the friends house for something he had forgotten. since then been home watching the race and working on a  cross stitch.  My grand daughter is out to a birthday party with her mother, I hope she is behaving! 
You know I talk to some people and they think life is rough, I wish they were in my shoes for 4 days. I have to worry about how my bills are getting paid, worry about my hours being reduced again at work, if my grand daughter is sick how i will got to work,how  I will I buy food, how will I put gas in my car. just to name a few. They have to worry about what they are having for dinner, and where are they going this year on vacation. It has been a long time since I had a vacation, they just have NO idea. But I  have to live each day raising my grand daughter the best I can. I really don't have alot of complaints I have a nice house with a big yard, I have a beautiful grand duaghter, I have a newer car, I am grateful for the part time job I have not alot of people can find a job. I do wish that I had a second hand store of my own(my drean), and I do wish I had more money to get the things I want but overall we don't go without much.
well time to make dinner
have a good day