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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Domestic violence facts

Domestic violence statistics
•A woman is beaten every 10 to 12 seconds
•More than one woman is raped every minute of every day
•Three to four women are murdered each day by their intimate partner
Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. Whoever you are, In 1994, 1995, and again in 2000, Michigan changed the laws that deal with domestic violence to make it easier for the victims of abuse to get protection through the legal system.
Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or harm. Physical violence includes, but is not limited to, scratching; pushing; shoving; throwing; grabbing; biting; choking; shaking; slapping; punching; burning; use of a weapon; and use of restraints or one's body, size, or strength against another person.
Sexual violence is divided into three categories: 1) use of physical force to compel a person to engage in a sexual act against his or her will, whether or not the act is completed; 2) attempted or completed sex act involving a person who is unable to understand the nature or condition of the act, to decline participation, or to communicate unwillingness to engage in the sexual act, e.g., because of illness, disability, or the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or because of intimidation or pressure; and 3) abusive
Threats of physical or sexual violence use words, gestures, or weapons to communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical harm.
Psychological/emotional violence involves trauma to the victim caused by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics. Psychological/emotional abuse can include, but is not limited to, humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other basic resources. It is considered psychological/emotional violence when there has been prior physical or sexual violence or prior threat of physical or sexual violence. In addition, stalking is often included among the types of IPV. Stalking generally refers to "harassing or threatening behavior that an individual engages in repeatedly, such as following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing phone calls, leaving written messages or objects, or vandalizing a person's property" (Tjad
  • Children may become injured during violent incidents between their parents. A large overlap exists between intimate partner violence and child maltreatment (Appel and Holden 1998).

  • en & Thoennes 1998).

    no longer a victim(domestic Violence)

    Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and
    Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
     lasting scars.
    I was a victim of domestic violence I wasn't beat up or bruised but I was pushed against counters and thrown against walls I was called many horrible names, told was a rotten person I was, and alot of other names I am too embarrassed to type. I had my life threatened twice. I was never allowed to have a opinion unless it was his opinion, and if I was gone 15 minutes longer than I expected I heard about it for hours.  I was married to my abuser for a little over 6 years, we had been together 10 years. I kept kicking him out of my home, but...I always let him come back he promised not to drink, promised not to argue and call me bad names. He was good for awhile then it started all over again. I kept believing him when he said he wouldn't do it amymore, but they were just empty promises. I divorced him 2007, but let him come back into my home even after that, because starngely I loved him and I thought he loved me too. My grand daughter has always lived with us and now as I think back how rotten I was to let her hear all the bad names he called me. That was bad of me, but then I didn't think of that as I do now.
    Finally in Late september 2011 I had enough, he had been calling me names, drinking, I had been finding money missing.(wondered how he kept buying alcohol) we had argued that day, at midnight i went to bed, he had been staying in my garage becase he refused to leave my house (we had a fouton, tv coffee table, his computer, cable, internet and a frige out there he wasnt deprived) i shut the internet off just for a little payback, he got so mad that he started pounding on the back door to my house screaming he was kick the door down and if he couldn't he would break the window out of  the door.(I was scared)  he finally got inside the house without breaking anything, how? I still have no idea,  he took my laptop out to the garage and said if he wasn't getting internet neither was I. I was jsut grateful that he immediately went back out to the garage becase I had a 4 year old to protect.
    I left early the next morning took my grand daughter to daycare and realized I needed to get out I called a apt complex I lived in before I could have a apt but it  wouldnt be ready for 3 days, I stayed those three nights at my mothers house, got my apt went back and packed my stuff, he was still there refused to leav. e I had called the people I rented the house from to tell them of the violence they let me out of my lease. he stayed for a week taking advantage.
    We are still seperated and we are going to stay that way. I hope another woman doesn't fall for his cuteness and nice talk because it will be good for a couple months then change will change drastically.
    thanks for reading!

    Monday, June 13, 2011

    Just gramma.....continues....

    I made a reservation today for Frankenmuth, Mi I can only afford to stay one night and 2 days but we should have a good time. My daughter, son, grand daughter, daughter's b/f, and myself are going-we hve tickets to the splash park, dinner, and breakfast. We will be going on the riverboat tour, going to the milatary muesum, and grand daughter will be doing build a bear, the saturday after we are going to the zoo, 3rd weekend in July we are going up north rent a pontoon boat, and going ot the water park. I am trying to do some cool things with my grand daughter she starts kindergarten in September, and has to have surgery on her foot in October. I was hoping surgeries would be done, but the orthopedic surgeon says she needs another one, will be a little easier this time only one foot, all her other surgeries were both feet. She will have a cast up to the waist for 2 weeks then one just below the knee for another 5 weeks. 
    It's hard to believe my grand duaghter Makayla is 5 years old now we just celebrated her birthday May 29th.
    I still haven't got a home business other than Avon, but I am still working on it. Hopefully with God's guidance one will come along soon.
    Taking Makayla to a memorial service thursday her other grandma passed away she does not know she is her grandma has only seen her once in the last 2 years but I think it's appropiate that she go. I hope I am making the right decision.  Time will tell.
    well so much more I want to wrote about but it's late, and I have 2 tests scheduled at the hospital in the morning, so I'm going to go to bed.
    Thanks all God Bless!