Follow by Email

Saturday, February 25, 2012

another sad turned out ok day

My daughter has been planning on ging to a Big Time Rush concert on 2/25/2012 since November when we bought the tickets. My 5 year old grand daughter is also going. I had a big problem with my daughter and grand daughter driving through Detroit late at night in a old van, so she asked her dad who lives in Redford if she could stay at his house, he said yes no problem, well the night before the concert he told her no they couldn't stay she was so upset she cried. I was very upset, mad, and disappointed at her dad. I almost told her she couldn't go to the concert she would have been devastated.
I just don't understand why her dad is always either ignoring her or treating her bad. He has a daughter by his second wife and a step son they are both disabled as are his 2 grown adult children, but for some reason when he got remarried he stopped being a "dad" to them. He was always the grestest dad. Takign them to the park, ball games, picnics, playing cathch whatever they wanted. I woked 2 jobs and wasn't home as uch as he was.
Then he got married and it was like wow he wasn't thee for them anymore. I do not know what happened. He thinks that since he has 2 children with him and his children he had with me can fend for themselves, and they can't.
I was so mad at my first husband for almost making hte grestest thing in my daughters year not happen.
This may sound harsh but I told my daughter she needs to not do anyhing with or for her dad ever again, becase he has disappointed her so many times she needs to stop letting him break her heart.
I hope one day he realizes what he has missed not partisipating in his childrens lives(when we divorced the children were 11 and 13) my children have been a challenge, my daughter with her bi-polar and ADHD, myson with his sczophrenia, ADHD, and anxiety, We have always had to raise them a little differently than other children, school was a challenge for my son he has been vbery smart but becase of his disabilities was put into a special ed class with regular work. He has made some very good strides recently moving into his own apaprtment, and volunteering at the hospital 2 days per week. My daughter lives with me she has a hard time keeping a job and I worry that she can't live on her own.She does jelp me out some taking me where I need to go, and helping me wiht laundry and I appreciate it. But children need their parents no matter what age they are, I am 44 year old and I still need my mother for many things. So I hope their dad stops and thinks!
thanks for reading more to come! 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

A sad moment

Well I was hoping to move into a 150 year old home in June BUt I now know that isn't going to happen. Some people I known own the hosue thye haven't been able to sell it, I found out it is on the market until March 23rd if it didn't sell by then I was going to be able to move into it. It would have been awesome, I am folling all these blogs of people who refurbish furniture and decorate with old county and shabby chic, I can not put anything mor ein the home I have now it is too small. I was SO looking forward to buying pieces of furniture that need a little love furburshing and painting them and putting vintage pieces in the house to go with the homes age. It is beautiful original dark wood trim has lots of rooms, big rooms. Has a garage and lots of acres of land my daughter was lookign forward to working on cars which she so wants to do but can't with us living in the city and not havign the room. All of that dream got crashed to a halt when I was told I wasn't welcome to move into it any longer, I was very upset for a couple days, even cried, my daughter wasupset that she couldn't work on cars. I so wanted my grand daughter to experience living in a country like setting, with lots of land, and having a big garden.
Well I am over it now I am used to having lots of hopes and dreams and having them crash and burn.
Well enough about that, what's done is done, I thought well since I'm not moving I would fix up the house Iam living in. I only rent it but no one says a few hundred dollars in a rental that your going to be in awhile hurts. I put new nickel finished knobs on the kitchen cupboards. I kept the old ones so when and if I decide to move I can take the new ones. I painted 2 walls in my living room and one in my bedroom. The paint was very cheap it was pre mixed someone had brought back to the store. it only cost me $8.00 for the gallon. I painted one wall in my grand duaghter's room with a pint of pink paint that was pre mixed someone had brought back only cost me
$5.00 for the pint, and it did the whole wall. Bought new curtains for my grand daughter's room they were only $9.00 I bought 2 pair. So not much money spent.
I went the Habitat restore yesterday I found a gallon of blue gray paint and pink ceiling fan, the ceiling fan is going in my grand daughter's room and I am  going to tackle painting the bathroom I figure why not make the bathroom nice? SThe walls are white and I can't stand white. I am posting a before pic of the bathroom and when it is doen I will posting a after pic. I don't proclaim to be good at painting but we will see.


more to come!!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Pain Injection

Well I had my pain injuection today--went really smooth, I waited in the waiitng room about 20 mins they took me back asked me to take my top off put on a gown I was able to keep all my other clothes on including my shoes! They took my vitals started a IV which I did not feel, I told the nurse it takes me awhile to wake up from anesthesia. Last injection I had at another facility after 2 hours they called my mother back to help wake me up and that took another 20 mins.  I waited about 10 mins they took me another room
I got on a different table on my stomach they put oxygen in my nose and put medicine through my iv tube I was out, the procedure took about 12 mins I was back int he same room I was in before I was moved. The amazing thing is I woke up right away, I commented that I woke up without trouble and right away, the nurse explained that they used a different medicine and use as little as possible. It was enough I didn't feel a thing.
I had to wait 20 mins then I was on my way. My pain was a 6 upon arriving for the procedure when I left it was a 2 which is great for me. They gave me a paper to record my pain level every hour till 9pm tonight and from the time I wake in the morning for 3 hours. My pain now is about a 3 1/2 I am hoping it doesn't go higher.
I do have very bad tingling and numbness in my feet which I can't stand drives me nuts!! Dr said that will take a while to go away IF it goes away. Medicine they gave me on tues alomost a week ago hasn't helped so far, But I'm hoping.
more to come

Thursday, February 16, 2012

cross stitch is my passion

I absolutley love to cross stitch since i have been off work on a medical I have had more time to do it. I sometimes get so involved in one that I don't hear people talking to me. I give them for gifts at christmas, and I have sell them ( I have 2 on my etsy shop now-www.brendavr.etsy.com) Ihave 3 that are finished I have to iron and but them on backing board then they will be in my shop.
I only do the stamped( have tried the counted I just can't get he hang of it) it is very hard to find usually ebay is my first source. Right now I am working on a Thanksgiving table runner it is almost done soon as it is finished i wash and iron it, it will be on my etsy site too.

Iam posting a couple pics of the table runner one of the almost done side and the done side.
I will post a pic of  the completed runner soon.
Here is a couple from my etsy shop already finsihed and on backing board.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

RSD

I went to a new pain Dr today, was not throilled about going because the pain Dr I had seen previousley locally preformed a procedure on my back that left me with tingling in my lefgs and feet, swollen ankles, purplish tint to my feet and legs, and numbness in my legs and feet. But my Ortho Dr wanted me to sdee him and with getting disability from work if I want to keep my monthly check I had to go.
I went the PA(Physicians Assistant) I first saw checked out my lower body, asked me questions had me walk, and asked me to do some thing sI couln't do becase of my right hip pain. Soon she had the Dr come in. He looked at my xrays, MRI, bone scan and all the other test results I had brought with me and says I think you have RSD, But I won't know until we do a procedure(injection) into your spine. Which really has me concerned going into my spine. He explained to me what RSD is somewhat, and explained with the use of a spine model what the procedure would entail. When it was done I scheduled the procedure which is done in his office for Monday 2/20/12
We will see what happens.
Reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), also known as complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), is a chronic progressive neurological condition that affects skin, muscles, joints, and bones. The syndrome usually develops in an injured limb, such as a broken leg. However, many cases of RSD involve only a minor, seemingly inconsequential injury, such as a sprain. And in some cases, no precipitating event can be identified.

Pain may begin in one area or limb and then spread to other limbs. RSD/CRPS is characterized by various degrees of burning pain, excessive sweating, swelling, and extreme sensitivity to touch. Symptoms of RSD/CRPS may recede for years and then reappear with a new injury.
TypesTwo types of RSD/CRPS have been defined:

Type 1 - without nerve injury
Type 2 (formerly called causalgia) - with nerve injury
Both types express the same signs and symptoms
Conditions associated with the onset of RSD/CRPS include:
Trauma (e.g., bone fracture, gunshot and shrapnel wounds) Spinal cord disorders Cerebral lesions Heart disease, heart attack Hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body) Infection Radiation therapy Repetitive motion disorder (e.g., carpal tunnel syndrome) Surgery In 10% to 20% of cases, no direct cause can be found. Injury that precedes the onset of RSD/CRPS may or may not be significant.

RSD Signs and Symptoms

The symptoms of RSD/CRPS may progress in three stages acute, dystrophic, and atrophic although this notion is subject to debate.

Acute: burning pain, swelling, increased sensitivity to touch, increased hair and nail growth in the affected region, joint pain, color and temperature changes; first 1-3 months

Dystrophic: constant pain and swelling, limb feels cool and looks bluish, muscle stiffness and atrophy (wasting of the muscles), early osteoporosis (bone loss), 3-6 months

Atrophic: cool and shiny skin, increased muscle stiffness and weakness, symptoms  may spread to another limb

RSD/CRPS can be difficult to diagnose and often requires excluding other conditions that produce similar symptoms. A thorough history and neurological examination is of utmost importance. During the exam, the clinician may notice that the response to mild sensory stimuli produces severe pain.

Physical examination involves observing the skin color and temperature, swelling, and vascular reactivity; overgrown and grooved nails; swollen and stiff joints; muscle weakness and atrophy (wasting).

Other conditions are ruled out with appropriate testing that may include MRI studies, a full laboratory panel, EMG/NCV (electrophysiological studies of the nerves and muscles), and a test known as a thermogram, which uses an infrared video camera to measure the emission of heat from the affected limb.
More to come

Sunday, February 12, 2012

My Bursitis Ordeal Part 2

To begin the surgical procedure, an incision is made in the side of the thigh over the area of the greater trochanter. The surgeon continues the incision through the tissues that lie over the bursa.
The tendon is then split so that the trochanteric bursa and the bone of the greater trochanter can be seen. The tendon is split lengthwise. The bursa sac is removed. The bone of the greater trochanter is smoothed, and any bone spurs are removed.
At this point the tendon may be lengthened or released and not repaired. If the surgeon chooses not to repair the tendon, scar tissue will eventually heal the loose edges of the tendon. As it heals, it will be looser than before surgery, so it won't rub on the greater  trochanter is smoothed, and any bone spurs are removed.
At this point the tendon may be lengthened or released and not repaired. If the surgeon chooses not to repair the tendon, scar tissue will eventually heal the loose edges of the tendon. As it heals, it will be looser than before surgery, so it won't rub on the greater trochanter quite so much. The skin is closed with stitches.
This operation may not be successful. All operations have a chance of failure, and this operation is no different. Even after going through the procedure, you may continue to have pain from trochanteric bursitis. This is clearly not the expected outcome.
So I did 3 1/2 months of outpatient physical therapy, which didn't seem to help my hip at all actually seemed to make it worse. The Dr. said the only thing he knew left to do was to have the bursea removed, but he had never done it before so he sent me to a orthapediec dr at St Joe's hospital. So I made a app't for 2 weeks later.
I saw this Dr he conformed the diagnosis of 2 other Dr's I had seen but wanted to make absolutely sure so he had me get a pain injection in my right hip(not the bursea) to see if it helped. If it didn't it was for sure my bursea not my hip. I had the injection a week later. I had a app't with the Dr. 2 weeks after, I went the injection did not help my pain at all, so we knew it was bursea. The Dr said the only thign left to do is have the Bursea removed. So his office cheduled me for surgery.
I had the surgery on January 18, 2012. I was in the recovery room and never felt such pain. My hip hurt me so bad. The Dr had said I could go home after but, since I needed so much pain medicine he made me stay in the hospital overnight. I wasn't happy about that.
In the hospital I received pain meds when I needed it had a tv so wasn't so bad, but man did my hip and leg hurt. I had great pain from this.
The Physicians asssitant who saw me the next day so I could leave told me what was done. I had my bursea removed and it was very infected so it was cleaned out. He gave me scripts fpr pain meds, toldme not to take a bath for a week and said I could go home.
I had a app't woth the Dr. a week later which I went to he just wanted to make sure the incision was not infected, It wasn't. 
I told him about the tingling and numbness I was having in my feet and legs which I have had since I seen a pain dr and he did a procedure on my back, around June, 2011. Now he wants me to see a pain dr from St. Joes I told him I was a little scared to see another pain dr becase of what happened before. But he asked me to please see him so I said ok. I have a appt with his this week(2/15/12) and I go back to see the Ortho Dr. on 2/26/12 Which I will report that my hip does not feel any better, I am still having lots of pain, still walking with a cane, and can not drive or go up and down stairs. 
We will see what happenes at the next appts.
more to come

Monday, February 6, 2012

Brenda van Riper shared Love Quotes and Sayings's photo.
I found this quote and it sums it all up you need to get rid of people who treat you like garbage it will be hard at first but in the end it will make you a better person-This goes for men as well as women people who talk to you like you are a doormat or physically abuse you, ones who make you think you can't live without them, that you can't make it on your own. Believe me you can. I still care for my ex I don't know if I will ever get over him completely, I am not sure why, even though I am alone, and most times in physical pain, and have no significant other to do things with , I wake up everyday knowing I don't have to walk on eggshells, knowing I don't have to go looking for alcohol cans that were hidden, I dont have to wonder what is going on in my own home while I am away. I have worries believe me I wonder how I am going to pay my bills etc.
What really gets to me is my ex lives with his elderly parents who have money, a house up north in Michigan and mobile home in Florida, and a regular house, he doesn't have any bills to pay, gets all the food he wants, nice cars to drive, he gets a $200.00 per month  allowence, He had to drive his parents to Florida or be disowned by them.( when they say jump he has to say how high or be out of their will)  he is enjoying a month in Florida in the great weather and sun, I think I am jealous. He was the abuser made me feel like crap almost day and he gets the finer things in life just doesn't seem fair. But...I then see like this...I have my beautiful grand daughter that I see everyday who makes me smile and laugh who I get to see grow, and wow at her accomplishments, He will never get to see that again. I am thinking I just have more important priorities. It would be great to not have to worry about how I am going to pay the rent, or buy a gallon of milk, or pay the electric bill, and I will miss out on going to his family's lake house, riding in their boat, and I know my grand daughter will miss them too. She worships the ground my ex walks on she loves him so much( makes me tear up) because she is the one who is really affected.
He had opertunities to change, I gave him many chances, but..he just liked demeaning me and my children, getting drunk, doing illegal activites, and seeing other women more than he enjoyed my grand daughter and myself. but.......
Please know the finer things in life aren't what is most important. It is knowing you don't have grief and abuse everyday, things will work out. I am on my own, so far my bills are paid, I have food, I have self esteem again, I don't have to look over my shoulder, and most important I don't have to walk on egg shells.
You will make it like I did.
God Bless!!!!!!