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Saturday, November 26, 2011

stupidity..

it's 11/26 I got the Christmas tree up took awhile we left the lights on the tree last year and they were tangled awful, but it looks very nice got most of the presents under the tree. My grand daughte ris so excited about all the gifts. I have a small gift to get my step dad and my grand daughter that lives in florida, and one thing left for my son which I have no idea what, but I will figure somethign out.
This is the 2nd Christmas I won't have my ex with us. Which I believe is a good thing for me, but my grand daughter will be very hurt. He has been so nice the last couple months until the last 2 weeks I don't know what happened, he just stopped talking to me, and stopped texting. I finally was tired of his games and shut his phone off. My grand daughter has mentioned his name a few times in the last 2 weeks, she knows I bought him a present from her she even helped wrap it up and I know the closer to Christmas she will remember about it, and ask where he is, is he comming to her house. I feel really bad for her she loves himso much and she's only 5 she just doesn't understand these things. I wish I wouldn't have let him come down to visit, makes her so happy when he is here, but when he does things like this and just doesn't call her, or come to see her, or even act like she exist for no reason and hurt her on purpose I think geeze she would be way over him by now. I am stupid sometimes.  
I go to the Dr at St Joes on monday he gav eme a cane last time I went I still am not ised to using it yet.  I have no idea what he is going to do. I know my hip still hurts like crazy. Still keeps me up at night, I sleep on and off.
Money has been real bad since I been off. I am so afraid of going back to work becase as sosn as I do I lose my health insurance, and if I end up not being able to work becase of my hip I will be in real trouble wihtout insurance. Not sure if I am going to have to look for a job wiht more hours or not to have insurance or not, afraif of that too because if I can't do a ward clerk job not sure what I am going to be bale to do. We will see monday I guess.
well more to come

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