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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Grand daughter's broken heart

I feel so bad for my 5 year old grand daughter she has cried for her grandpa(my ex) all day today-she begged me to drive to Jackson so she can see him, then she took my hand and squeezed it and said you promise we can go see grandpa in 2 days? I didn't know what to say-finally I said honey I don't know why grandpa is not talkign to us, I have called him and left voice messages, I have left him messages on the computer I don't know.  (She even left 2 voice messages for him he ignored those too.) That answer just made her cry-she asked my daughter to worte a letter to grandpa exactly what she said ans my grnad duaghter signed it, she brought it to me in a envelope  and said put grandpa's address on it then he has to answer me. I told her I would send it for her.
She came to me a hour later and said I don't know hwy granda isn't calling I know he doesn't always like you grandma but he loves me. maybee the police have his phone I said why would they? she said cause maybee he did soemthign and is in jail, then she said well maybee he went to Florida again like before? (he spent the winter there last year with his parents) I said I do not think he is in jail and his daddy has been sick so I do not htink he is in Florida either. She said then I gotta find out what's wrong with him then came and gav eme a big hug and said I love grandpa so so so much. I siad  know you do sweetie.
It makes me tear up jsut typing this-why would a guy hurt a 5 year old that he claims to love she isn't his biological grand daughter but he always acted like her granpa before, and she worships the ground he walks on. 
He hasn't spoken to me or her in a apprx 2 weeks and she is going nuts. I just don't know what to do for her there is always soemthign that reminds her of him. I don't know why he has been ignoring me, I can take it or leave it even though soemthing inme still loves him, but my grand daughter can not take it or leave it--she has been upset for 2 days.
He has treated me bad in many many ways and of  course I am always the bad one. I am the oe who is heartless which I nevr understood becase I never had a affair on him, I always loved him, but I could never do anythign right. But...he always told everyone that he loves Makayla she is his buddy. Why would he hurt her. I telol myself and my daughter she will get over him, I have tried to take all the pics of him out of view, and off a old phone she uses, and when she mentions him I try to change the subject but half the time it doesn't work, she loves himand wants answers.
I am hopign he reads this, and soemwhere in his heart realizes how bad she is hurting, and how wrong it is to upset a 5 year old who loves him more than anything. I don't know if it will amke a difference or not. But I am hoping he will let me know if he still wants to be her grandpa or not.
He treats his neices that he only saw once a year for 10 year better than her and it jsut isn't fair for her to be hurting. 
I jsut needed to vent, for me and for Makayla
more to come

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