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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Blah!!

Well this weekend was and wasn't fun, I went to Monroe biggest yard sale inside the a building at the fair grounds I would have only spend $2.00 but I had my grand daughter and 5 year olds only want something so I ended up spending $12 bucks--which is pretty good I think. Then my mother and I went to Tim Hortons I love their chocolate dip donuts and they have the best coffee, but boy did I pay for walking around that night both my legs and hips hurt so bad I was up until 4:30am slept for only 2 hours.
Sunday my grand daughter didn't feel well at all sleep half the day coughing, and a stuffed nose, then I slept for 3 hours on the couch due to lack of sleep the night before.
I ended up watching the race which had a good ending painted a small shelf I got from a ebay auction 2 coats of white did a little cleaning. That was pretty much my weekend.
Monday I made a Dr's appointment for my grand daughter gave her 2 perscriptions, we had to get blood work and xrays but thnak Goodness they all came back normal she just has a cough. Hope it goes soon we are suppose to go to Frankenmuth tothe inside water park next week. April 10th and 11th while she is on spring break from school. So we spent most of the day at the hospital. I was so exhausted that we all went out to eat for a late lunch. grandaughter spent most of the day laying around.
Today I wake up  I hurt a little but not like normal. I just feel achy in my legs, arms and hands. I am wondering if it is becase of the rain. It has been rainign here all moring and half the night. I go to therpay and get through it it wasn't as bad as usual. I just feel blah today.
My grand duaghter went to school today, still has a cough but  she will ge thtought 3 1/2 hour sof school. No fever thank Goodness.
For soem reason today I am thinkign of my ex husband and it isn't for any other reason  than to realize how unfair life really is. I am struggling so bad to pay bills. Which I have done most of my life. So that isn't unusual. I had a ex who didn't work, his parents and family were too good to help us. We were always having cars repoed, or my step dad buying us food, because my ex was too busy stealing what little money I had. When he would fix a computer for someone he would say they didn't pay him or he would tell me they gave him 10 or 20 bucks when they actually gave him 30 or 40 or 50.
What I was thinkign about how the life is beign unfair, I always loved my husband, I always tried to take care of him, I always weated to be with him, Is didn't mind buying him things he needed or wated when I could. I think in a way I still love him, nothign was ever good enough for him. He always talked to other woman on the phone or in person or onthe computer, went to their work or homes and did who knows what. I was ignorant to what was going on. I didn't even believe my children when they told me these things becase I loved him so very much. Now that we aren't togehter I rwealiz it is a good thing, but just makes me so mad that he lives wiht his parents rent free, pays no utilites, doesn't have to buy food, or clothes , doesn't have to pay for a car, or car inusrance. He even gets a allowance for driving them places and doing some yard work for them.
He has a aunt that has lots of money and he is one of 5 beneficaries of all her money. His parents own 3 homes they are givinign him one for helping them out, plus he along with his brothers will get their money too.
It just isn't fair that he spent so many years in prison kept breaking the law time after time, is a abuser, had affairs, and stole money from me but he gets to live the good life while I and my granddaugther struggle.
I guess I am jealous althoguh I would like to think it was just that life isn't fair. I do jto know why I was daydreamign about it this mornign it just entered my mind while I was checkign how much money I had in my checking account. Which isn't much.
Oh well he says he had a bad stroke which I am having a hard time believing I htink he wanted me to feel sorry for him. If he did I guess I would say evil things happen to evil people and pay backs are hell.
I will get over it it surely isn't somethign to make me rush me ruch back to him. A year ago it probabley would have been but I would like to think I am little wiser now.
So if anyone is expericening anything like I did don't let living on your own, a disability, no money stop you from gettign away if you need too. Seek help and get away no matter what.
I have jsut as little money, I still struggle, he never brought my life to a higher standard of living. The things I dont have is yelling, arguing, or walking on egg shells, or missing money. and it feels really good.

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